Dating sites, everyone knows their existence. Formerly taboo, they are now in the habit. So much so that many are throwing themselves into the arms of TINDER, the most popular online dating app, with the fiery hope of meeting THE woman of her life (or THE women for the most fiddled among us) . And this is particularly the case for beginners! But is it easy to flirt on Tinder? If you read this article, probably not!
So how do you get to flirting on Tinder? How to SEDUCE when we start and we do not know how to do it? What are the mistakes NOT to do?
Dating on Tinder
To this end, I chose to offer you a short article for beginners who want to get started on dating sites: how to flirt on Tinder when you have NO experience!
Dating sites: easy?
There are many people who get off to a quick start on the dating sites,in the hope to make beautiful encounters without too much effort. It’s human, we all want to meet someone without necessarily wanting to spend his evenings, and especially without breaking their teeth. Or for most of you, to flirt without having to do it in the street or from a subway platform.
On this point, we understand each other.
Indeed, it is always more EASY to play women while being wallowing in her sofa or in her bed, than to brave the bitumen in the rain (for those who live in Paris) and to approach women in the street (for those who live in the city). It requires less effort, and it avoids having to cash rakes (the famous rake remaining fear 1 of any beginner in dredge).
But the reality catches up with us quickly: to hide behind your screen to seduce without taking risks is not easier for all that! So yes, you will dodge the rakes from the street / night. But for the rest, it’s not necessarily easier.
This is especially true for someone who has NO experience with women. How can one hope to progress in these conditions when one has NO tangible experience with women?
If this is your case, then you have fallen well: this will be the purpose of this article.
Indeed, many are my readers who, having ZERO experience with women, rush for ease on Tinder, Badoo, Meetic, or Happn. But as said, it’s not necessarily easier.
The rejection will obviously be less painful than on the street, but do you really think the rest will be easier?
To those people, I will not try to change their minds. I myself am a strong supporter of dating sites (because I met the one who shares my life) and I propose profile redesign as part of my coaching offer to get there.
Through this article, I will give the KEYS to these people to get started on the dating sites. Indeed, the main risk of any beginner is to lose years trying 36 tips unearthed on the web without knowing what we do. That’s what everyone is trying to do, and surely what you tried to do.
Did it work? If you read these lines, probably not.
As an individual, I tried anyway, and believe me that I regret it. If I had correctly made a profile building process, I could have enjoyed my 20 years! (instead of waiting for my 25 years).
We will list here 4 key points that seem fundamental for any beginner, to be on track right from the start and put you on the road to flirt on Tinder (and avoid some mistakes commonly made).
Learn the rules of the game
These rules, you will not learn them on Doctissimo nor on the forums of jeuxvideo.com. This is where a blog on the subject of seduction finds its usefulness.
Many people are made by the PUB that is made by these sites: we register, we match, and hop we hookup dozens of chicks well fucked!
Do not be naive: the reality is more nuanced than that!
I say it many times by evoking the principle of Pareto: only 20% of the guys really succeed on these sites. Clearly, 20% of men are typing 80% of women. And 80% of guys galley with the rest …
Another difficulty: competition. As in the nightclub, men are overstaffed, and the ratio of men to women is inherently unfavorable. It has always been like that, and it always will be. The difference with other means of meeting: on the internet, the competition is silent. You do not see her, but she’s here. It works without your knowledge, and against your interests.
Everyone is fighting over the most beautiful females to seduce. Take this beautiful blue-eyed blonde with whom you discuss (let’s call her Vanessa). You may not know it, but Vanessa is also talking to Bob, Mathieu, Jean-Edouard, and even Mohamed. Vanessa will not talk about it, but insidiously, she will put you in competition with her other contenders.
Is Vanessa a slut? No, it only follows its hypergamic nature: to put the males in competition to choose those which it will judge to be better than the others. The reality is so.
Clearly, it is a question of being realistic about the value of this means of meeting. Dating sites are no easier than street or night: it’s a complement! It is a means of meeting like any other, and the difficulties will be present anyway. They are just different from other meeting fields.
Thus, we must remain REALISTIC with its ambitions. Deep work is needed to be among the 20% of guys who choose the women they sleep with. This work is not done in a day. Reading this article will give you some of these basics, which will need to be explored further.
Do not bet everything on it … at the beginning!
The reflex of a beginner is to say that by using Tinder, that there is no need to go flirting bar Saturday night, or take his courage to address women in the street.
It is not so !
When we start, it is very easy to be overwhelmed by the comfort zone that these apps constitute.
Believe me: if you only bet on these apps, you will go crazy, and clog your couch! And the day you FINALLY have your appointments, good luck to be on top. To hope to flirt on Tinder by only doing the Tinder is illusory.
It will take you some time to perform among the 20% of guys who hit the jackpot. Before you get there, you will have to galore. It’s a boring phase, but necessary. It lasts longer or shorter depending on the people, but we all go through (unless you use a coach that will allow you to minimize this moment of flutter).
In the meantime, you have the DUTY to continue meeting women with other dating vectors. The street, for example, is an excellent complement (which I advise most of my students in a coaching workshop).
This is the best way not to be overwhelmed by this comfort zone that is Tinder, in which it is very easy to sink (= comfort zone).
Take the time to BUILD one’s profile
Like many, I made the mistake of wanting to fend for myself and not going to see a coach to build a profile that works the first time. So, it took me several years before I could sleep with girls regularly!
I made many mistakes that I could have avoided, and that delayed my success of a few years which I would have done well. It is a lost time which I will be well spent.
Clearly, unless you hire a coach, it will take you months, if not years, to find the combination that works for YOU.
Because to be beginner means to know badly the women (which is not pejorative since one starts). So poorly know what PLAIT women. And anyone who thinks he knows what women think when he has no experience, often by ego, makes a big mistake.
In this case, two solutions:
Pump the profile of his buddy BG and try to do the same (what 90% of guys do, with the results we know)
Use a coach to build a profile that works immediately (10% of the guys)
Applying to a coach will build your profile together, paying particular attention to the following:
Take new pictures that please women. For this, no secrets, you need a photographer. No need to write an article on this topic.
Build your profile intelligently. By putting the right number of photos, conveying a certain message, and building a description related to these photos (otherwise something more generic, but not pumped from another forum / site).
Tinder: Taking Risks
Reflex number 1 of any beginner on dating sites (by experience):
Copy sentences on the internet that “walk every time”,
Pumping the description of a friend for whom it worked,
In conversation, do not talk with a sexual vocabulary (otherwise it’s “dude in dog”),
And many more…
The common point of all these steps: the total absence of risk taking. And the crappy pumping too. These steps, you will understand, are those that yield the least results.
Your number one enemy on dating sites is MONOTONY! Remember what I told you earlier about the competition. There is no point in copying right-to-left phrases, because other guys will have had the same idea as you before!
Remember that women are not connes: if you use a phrase copied / pasted on the net, they will feel it! And you are very likely that it has been used many times by other men. Yes, they also know how to use Google 😉 And it happens much more often than we think.
While going to draw various things on the internet, you do just the same thing as all the guys. This information is free and everyone has access. No courage is needed to find them, only a few minutes of research.
Clearly, you do not stand out.
Since dating sites are extremely easy to use (just install an app), you have the DUTY to stand out! You have the duty to be original. How to be original? By being spontaneous, saying things such as you want to say (with the right wording though), by exposing WHO you are! That’s how you will be able to flirt on Tinder.
Not easy to do, I know. So you will have to take risks. You will have to take the risk of not pleasing everyone.
Some key principles for this:
Bet on a detail of your present moment. For example, if you were watching a video about cats, tell him. It’s called spontaneity. And it’s far more powerful than any bullshit you could pump on the internet.
Challenge it! Too few guys have the balls to test a woman they talk to. You also have criteria, verbalize it as a boss would challenge his employee. You are supposed not to meet anyone. Please explain it. It will enhance you!
If you do not feel like talking, offer an appointment directly. Why force yourself into a conversation if you do not want to? You and she are on Tinder for the same reasons. Say you have pain in your fingers, it’s nice outside, whatever. Verbalize it, and spontaneously propose what makes you want on the moment!